Friday, 11 April 2008


Once upon a time I was on a surgical ward and as part of the stuff I HAD to do (cos no-one else wants to do it) was the pre-op check lists. This damn form is rather generic, GI and the ortho-pods all use the same one for example.

Anyway we ALWAYS had to ask if the patient had any allergies. I would hope that it is one of those DUH questions. The point I'm trying to get to is I've had some ruddy stupid answers. I'm quite happy to hear "Oh penicillin, nurse" or "Aspirin" or "Eggs", more often I get....
"Celtic" - ruddy Rangers supporters..... I support neither by the way
"Rangers" - ruddy Celtic supporters..... Tell you what it's a bad idea to put 2 die hard fans in the same room, you might as well pull the pin out of the grenade and let it fly
"Ugly birds" - I hope he doesn't mean me (like I care) - usually they are the least attractive people on the ward
"Blackcurrants" - yea cos they are always sneaking in to the drugs we use (still had a red wristband and it was on the form though)
"Gay men" - I kid you not.... actually this is discrimination but I'm not going to let that get between me and my internalised anger.

All those answers came from men. Still some of them don't try to be stupid and some of them you can have a laugh with when you get to the "Are you pregnant?" portion of the form.

I did once hear a nurse rattle through the questions "Do you have: hypertension, angina, COPD, asthma, etc..." to which the patients usually answer loads of no's then stick "Are we the ugliest people you've ever met?" usually this stops then in their tracks and makes them think. By the time they get it they think they've offended us. Makes me laugh anyway.

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