Friday 18 April 2008

I Wanna Be A Staff Nurse

What is better than listening to Nickelback's Rockstar?


Changing the words to meet your own ends!!!!!

I'm through with studyin’ for tests that we’ll never pass
It's like the bottom of the vial and I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me watchya want)

I want a brand new job or an episode of House
And a bathroom that I can relax in
With a king size tub big enough for wine plus me

(Tell me watchya need)

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big handsome doc or an experienced nurse
Gonna get an STD at thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new dressing kit full of sterile swabs
My own fob watch and a locker key
Somewhere there must be a job
with money and benefits for me

(So how you gonna do it)

I'm gonna trade this life for bedpans and pain
I'd even cut my nails and change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big staff nurses
And live in terraced houses driving clapped out cars
The docs come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we have no time to eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest wards
In the ICU with the management
Every good consultant’s gonna wind up there
Every screaming patient with their allergies and well
Hey hey I wanna be a staff nurse
Hey hey I wanna be a staff nurse

I wanna be great like Florence but without the dresses
With no body guards to beat up the assholes
Run a couple IVs so I can eat my meals guilt free

(I'll have the quesadilla, haha)

I'm gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the surgical department
Gonna date a consultant that loves to
Earn some money for me

(So how you gonna do it)

I'm gonna trade this life for bedpans and pain
I'd even cut my nails and change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big staff nurses
And live in terraced houses driving clapped out cars
The docs come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we have no time to eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest wards
In the ICU with the management
Every good consultant’s gonna wind up there
Every screaming patient with their allergies
And we'll hide out in the treatment rooms
With the latest Nursing standard and today's NT
They'll get you a pay cut with that evil smile
Everybody's got a Pharmacist on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be a staff nurse

I'm gonna take ma place on the register
Gonna pop their pills from a pez dispenser

I'll get tired out students writing all my notes
Check ‘em every night so they don't get 'em wrong

'Cause we all just wanna be big staff nurses
And live in terraced houses driving clapped out cars
The docs come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we have no time to eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest wards
In the ICU with the management
Every good consultant’s gonna wind up there
Every screaming patient with their allergies
And we'll hide out in the treatment rooms
With the latest Nursing standard and today's NT
They'll get you a pay cut with that evil smile
Everybody's got a Pharmacist on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be a staff nurse
Hey hey I wanna be a staff nurse

P.S. The changes to the words are mine but the song and original lyrics are not!

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