Friday, 25 January 2008

I'm Moving To Germany!

OK not right now but if one doesn't get opened in the UK by the time I'm 60, I'm going!
Europe's First Gay Nursing Home Opens In Germany! So there you go....
I'm reminded of a conversation from early on in the course where we asked ourselves what our generation would be like when we are the ones populating the care homes of the nation.
So based on the Activities of Living (a la Roper, Logan and Tierney), Us in a Care Home.
Maintaining a Safe Environment - I think we'll have to have the driver's licences removed forcibly but we will HAVE to be protected from ourselves so we don't get too close to those motorbikes, mopeds, fairground rides, skateboards.....
Communication - We will still have our mobile phones and blogs/ Bebo /Facebook pages (which will be so many shades of out-of-date the carers will have a good laugh at them). Of course the only problem with all this is that we will need these pages to remind ourselves of what we had for breakfast.
Breathing - In, Out, In Out..... The air will be clear by then but our lungs will have been ruined by the car fumes.
Eating and Drinking - There will have to be 2 different menus. 1 healthy with salads and 1 unhealthy filled with chips. Which should cover our different tastes. All with an open bar.
Elimination - I see no more problems in this area than there already is.
Washing and Dressing - We will be sat in our chairs watching our cable/ satellite TV in jeans and t-shirts. Almost exactly the way we do now but with grey hair.
Thermoregulation - Ponchos anyone?
Mobilisation - Wheelchair races down halls. Oh wait I think that comes under Maintaining a Safe Environment....
Working and Playing - Aside from the racing down hallways and surfing the net, we will be getting up to dance at every opportunity with all the cheesy dance hits, which will be about as modern as classical music is to us now.
Expressing Sexuality - All I can say is I hope Ann Summer's has a geriatric line for our arthritic hands by then.
Sleeping - Generous double beds, thick fluffy pillows and NO alarm clocks, that my retirement dream.
Death and Dying - We won't be phased by the thought of death for we will have spent our lives helping others come to terms with it. It really is the next big adventure.

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