The Word Of Today Is........

Orchidometer

a medical instrument used to size testes.....

We found one of these in a consultant's drawer. Course 'medical instrument' wasn't the first thing to go through our heads when we found a string of graduated wooden beads...

Hospital Corner?

I was taught hospital corners. I made beds the way I had too. Then I went to a manual handling training.

Apparently we aren't meant to lift the mattresses when there are patients lying on them. Well yes I can see the point of that, it can be sore on your arms when you're on to your 8th patient of the morning. It's very sore on my arms at least. We are just expected to poke the sheets down in between the mattress and the edge of the bed. Hmmmmmm..... Well I'll let you in on a little secret I've been doing that for a while. Usually only when the patient is on a pressure mattress because they are usually wrapped around the bottom of the bed so you can't actually put the sheet under. It saves my poor hands.

Meh... 10mins after you leave the patient their bed is a mess anyway. It's almost not worth the effort any more.

MCQ

I'm dyslexic and I prefer multiple choice to essays. This med student doesn't and is campaigning against the world's use of MCQ (Multiple Choice Questions). It got me so annoyed that I had to comment on it (so you might see some of this here and there too). I hate essays. When I was still in primary school I used to say 'Why write a page and get 10 mistakes when I can write half and get 5'. See even then I knew my limitations. This means I struggle to get to a word count. I can count on one had how many times I've gone over the word count without a struggle of some kind (twice by the way). If there had to be a choice then I would pick MCQ. Many of my 'normal' (I use that to mean their brains are not affected) friends hate MCQ tests though and would prefer essays. This is always where I thought the difference was.

Multiple choice happens in every day life in medicine. You disregard the things it cannot be to leave what it is. Also no one dyslexic can speak for all, everyone's dyslexia affects people differently. I've met people that struggle all day every day and have left school with a diagnosis of dyslexia and no qualifications. While I can function quite well in the course and work. Dyslexia is more than just reading and writing, it's about how the brain functions and it will never be a level playing field when it comes to exams. No matter the concessions.

Shared Living NOT Sheltered

Mostly I spent today cooking... yea I know I'll make a lovely housewife someday, blah, blah, blah...
But with the flat in such a tip EVERYTHING had to be cleaned first. This includes my own pots. I have my own wok and used to have a load of cutlery too. But someone has been using my stuff.

I caught one of my flatmates weeks ago helping herself to my spices and sauces cupboard (It's how it worked out most of my dry foods are in the other tiny cupboard and that one has the soy sauce, herbs, oils, etc.). OK I don't go into someone else's stuff and help myself so get the heck out of mine. Rock salt doesn't cone cheap you know. Anyway back to today and I couldn't find the wok. When I find it it's in the cupboard under the sink (where the pots NO-ONE use live cos on-one else cooks). AND it wasn't flipping clean. It was covered in someone's tomato pasta sauce.

I love my flatmates (sometimes). But come on how hard is it to at least make it look like you aren't taking my stuff when I'm not around?

Well now the 2 lasagne are done and the shepherd's pie is out of the oven. All ready for next week when I'm off on holiday with my Uni mates (My 2 clans of friends fall into; Uni - the first course I was on and College - the nursing course). Which is why I talk about college so much, it's how I make the distinction although both times it's been universities I've attended.

"You Didn't See This..."

How many times have I heard this? In fact how many times has any student nurse heard that?

It's usually followed by someone doing something they shouldn't be doing, often pertaining to Manual Handling. I wish people wouldn't say that to me because it puts me in the impossible position of knowing what went on and I would have to report it if something went wrong.

So from now on I declare that I will no longer ignore or stand back or assist.

Well a student can dream... Can't I? Truth is we are instilled with a 'sit down, shut up' mentality. 'This is the way we do it here' That's your response if you question their practice. Sometimes it has gone as far as I ignore your bad practice, you give me a nice write up.

Well it's your spine sister.

Summer Clear Out

Well it's time for my bi-annual clear out. Wow I've let this place get into a mess. I usually do during placement anyway but this time it's like a bomb has hit it. Need to clean the fish out too.

I'll be back when I'm finished!

Search Me...

Some one came to the blog via a search for 'bread websites'? WTF?

Anyway I've learnt a very important lesson DO NOT drop the black glass ESR vacutainers. Ever.

You would think that I have opened a vein the amount of blood on the floor. In reality the tubes only hold 5.2ml so it's really not that much. I'm totally persona non grata... again.

WooHoo!

It is so very nearly the summer holidays. I have only one more day to go then freedom for ?3 weeks.

Today's training was insane. I mean how many hours can you spend on health and safety? Then we covered the management of aggression and violence. Every comment on patient restraint was followed by an innuendo. Usually involving pink fluffy handcuffs. Well makes a change to cot sides!

1000 Visitors and Still Going

I've made it to 1000 (well past it actually). I wanted to do something special to celebrate. To be honest I can't really think of anything....
Aside from perhaps giving you 100 things about me with a smattering of the best of the archive and a response to Kim @ As The Pump Turns.

100) Kim showed us hers, so I'll show you mine. This is my uniform. White tunic (I've covered the embroidery) and navy trousers.
99) The most used tab is college.
98) I have broken both of my ankles...
97) ...and my left wrist.
96) I struggle to tell my left from my right and usually have to look at my hands.
95) There's a failed attempt at further education in my past...
94) ...and it had nothing to do with nursing.
93) When I was little I wanted to be a midwife,
92) an architect,
91) a physics teacher,
90) Duffy from Casualty,
89) and Captain Picard of the Starship Enterprise. At least I sort of picked one of them.
88) I have 6 highers.
87) 2 of my highers are Physics.
86) The rest are Art, Graphic Communication, Information systems and Maths.
85) I was told I was over qualified when I was interviewed for this course.
84) I worked part-time in a DIY store...
83) ...and I can mix paint colours...
82) ...and I can carry 2 25kilo bags of concrete at the same time.
81) I could have been fired for insubordination while I worked there for what I said to the manager.
80) I once bit my dentist...
79) ...and I was 21 at the time.
78) I wore braces on my teeth for 2 years...
77) ...and spent weeks designing layouts for the coloured bands that held the wires in place.
76) I have kept a blog since 2002.
75) I got my first Game Boy in 1995.
74) My PlayStation arrived in 1996.
73) Since then I have owned a PS2, Game Boy Colour, Game Boy Advanced SP.
72) I sold the SP and PS2 so I could afford my DS.
71) I own more games for the DS than I ever did for any of the other consoles.
70) I also owned a Nokia N-Gage. Although I don't like to admit it.
69) I think Princess Peach is a wuss.
68) I have played Nintendogs on the bus and shouted at the microphone.
67) I've had pet fish since I was 5.
66) My first 2 fish were called Madge and Harold, after the couple from Neighbours.
65) I spend a lot of time ranting.
64) I also spend a lot of time writing.
63) One day I want to write a novel.
62) Or be the cartoonist for the Nursing Standard.
61) I earned my Brownie Computer Badge in 1993.
60) On a 486 Intel processor running Windows 3.1
59) Brown Owl didn't know who to get to test me so she had her husband do it.
58) That badge is my favourite of all time.
57) My medical records have been lost.
56) I know how to swim,
55) snorkel,
54) sew,
53) ride a horse (both english...
52) ...and western),
51) put up tents,
50) and read a map.
49) I am seriously unfit...
48) ...but I can still touch my toes.
47) I've come to realise that my butt: is maybe a little too large.
46) I've come to realise that when I talk: I rattle on rather fast when I'm nervous.
45) I've come to realise that if I love someone: I should tell them how I feel.
44) I've come to realise that I need: To not lock out my friends.
43) I've come to realise that I've lost: My way and some of my passion.
42) I've come to realise that I hate it when: People make judgments about others without knowing the full story.
41) I've come to realise that if I'm drunk: I have zero balance, something I don't have much of when sober.
40) I've come to realise that money: Can't grow on trees.
39) I've come to realise that my mother: Is amazing, even though I can't tell her everything.
38) I've come to realise that I'll probably always be: Angry but I should use this for good not evil.
37) I've come to realise that I have a crush on: A person who will never know.
36) I've come to realise that the last time I cried was: Last Monday, no you aren't going to find out why.
35) I've come to realise that my cell phone: Is part of me.
34) I've come to realise that when I wake up in the morning: I'm cranky and stiff.
33) I've come to realise that before I go to sleep at night: I'm awake for far too long.
32) I've come to realise that right now I am thinking about: Never reaching number 1.
31) I've come to realise that babies: Are something I will never have.
30) I've come to realise that when I get on Blogger: I have to think interesting things.
29) I've come to realise that today I will: Not finish everything I have to do but they can be done tomorrow.
28) I've come to realise that tonight I will: Not get my hair dyed again.
27) I've come to realise that tomorrow I will: Bored out of my tree once more.
26) I've come to realise that I really want to: Immigrate.
25) I've come to realise relationships: Are necessary because humans are not meant to live alone.
24) I've come to realise love: Is dangerous but impossible to avoid.
23) I've come to realise my best guy friend: Is Suggs.
22) I've come to realise my best girl friend: Is Bob.
21) I've come to realise food: Is easier to cook than it is to make Pot Noodle.
20) I've come to realise that when I'm a girlfriend: I should not be overly possessive.
19) I've come to realise girls and boys: Are essentially the same.
18) I've come to realise over the summer: I will actually be going on a holiday!
17) I've come to realise heartbreak: Is devastating.
16) I had my first kiss when I was 6.
15) I never really understood what I would have to do when I was studying to be a nurse.
14) But I wouldn't change it for the world.
13) My favourite placement was orthopedics...
12) ...and that's where I want to go and work...
11) ...with a specialty in spinal injuries.
10) I worked on a summer camp in the US before I started the course...
9) ...and I'm going back when I finish.
8) I drink far too much diet cola...
7) ...and eat far too much chocolate.
6) My idol is Lara Croft.
5) I still own the first 4 Tomb Raider games.
4) My right ear drum has been perforated 3 times.
3) I make a mean shepherd's pie.
2) "bubbly, geeky ( you payed 50 quid for a DS case! )....bananas?!?!" - Suggs (Twasn't 50, it was 12)
1) I am insane for starting this.

Assin' Scotrail

Nope no idea at all.........

Anyway, it should never take 2 trains and a bus to get home from my friend's house across the city to the flat! But Scotrail decided to shut down the middle part of the line. Hours.... hours it took me to get there and home. Now I'm exhausted and have training in the morning.... er 8 hours... napping when I get home, me thinks.

Another Day, Another Bad Result

Yea, stupid finals.
I passed the big cancer one! Go me! But I failed the trauma exam.... by 3 marks....on one question. So guess what I'll be doing over the summer holidays. Actually I should put that in inverted commas. This is NOT a summer and there is no way that 2 weeks counts as a holiday. I proper university holiday is like 4 months long..... God I miss those days!
I am way too used to this by now. I can't even muster a vague sadness, I'm just pissed off.
Meh. Back to studying... again.

I *heart* My DS

I'm a gamer at heart .... O.K. I'm a Trekkie too.
Like that is the oddest thing you've ever heard about me. However it took me 6 months to finish Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. If I had played it solid then it would have been less than a month but I took huge breaks when ever I got stuck. So at the weekend I found this case and HAD to have it. (not my photo!) Now it's on to New Super Mario Brothers and My Sims.

Well I'll see my lecturer for the last time next week. 4 shifts to go and I will be on holiday! Finally a break!

Worry Not For I Have Already Messed It Up

Arrgh!
Getting signed off should be this hard. Was told today that she can't sign me off as she hasn't worked with me. Well that's not my fault! I go where I'm told!
Nugh....
On the up side I'll be getting my practice bloods signed off tomorrow. All 10 if the practice that they say we need to be competent. Oh heck no I needed way more than that!

Happy 60th?

The NHS turns 60 today. It's a bitter-sweet birthday with the public drawn between it being old and out of date or still necessary today.
Is it really needing to be put out to pasture? Is the NHS now just a joke?

I don't think it's dead already. Of course it is in no way what it used to be, but then nether is medicine.
When the NHS was started, no-one had considered the heart transplants or intensive care units. Massive hospitals offering neuro surgery in one building and plastic surgery and burns rehab in another.
In the same breath they couldn't have imagined wards full of patients suffering from infections they caught only because they happened in be in hospital with a weakened immune system.

Should we condemn the NHS to die by one of its own creations? No. For where would it leave us? With another bigger problem to solve.

Fly Solo Little Bird

OK.... usually I get called the 'wean' but hey I did fly solo because we ran out of bodies. Woot! I rock.
The results from the exams are out on Friday of next week.

And finally... The world's first pregnant man, Thomas Beatie, gave birth to a little girl. I'm happy for them. I keep quiet on this story because I nearly outed myself when I stepped into an argument about this. So facts? He is a man who was born a woman. Kept his reproductive organs in case he ever wanted to have a child and he did. Good for him and his wife. Now the world needs to back off.

Ass Kicking

Totally got my ass kicked today. By the Stirrer of this placement. They ALL have one, if you haven't found that person that loves to cause trouble then they will appear. Trust me on this.

I've been taking blood for a week now. Of course I had been getting supervised mostly by CSWs (Clinical Support Workers, or Auxiliaries). Most important, the BIG BOSS had approved of this. Then in comes Stirrer, who has been getting on my nerves for the last week or so (please don't come in and take over my clinic and mess up my system and do it all in the space of 10 minutes). She said it needs to be a trained member of staff. Baws, it does NOT need to be a staff nurse. But Stirrer had done her work already and Nice Staff Nurse I was working with had changed the game plan. Gurr.

Eventually I went back to the old system of being watched by whoever was available, besides I'm away at like 20-something bloods now. I can fly solo.... some of the time anyway.

Overtime

OK so I worked like 15 minutes more than I needed too. But I took on someone else's clinic and it took forever to get finished.
I started in the upper GI tract and finished in the lower GI tract. Could be worse this morning I was getting urology confused with neurology. Especially when they are running in rooms beside each other and the patients were coming to us for bloods.
Yesterday was well yesterday. Sufficed to say that it turned a little off when I was talking to a patient's husband. In the last couple of years I've had some hellish things said to me. Aside from shouting, threats, the like, I've been told by a patient that she wanted to die. But the least pleasant to hear was 'I can't lose her, she's all I've got.'
Some days I wonder if I can take it.